Work ethic

"Gizza us a job” was the infamous catchphrase from the iconic series Boys from the Blackstuff, in the 1980's. 30 years later I find myself reliving this era, ie,being unemployed.

In the 80's newly graduated with a humanities degree, finding a job in west Wales was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. After a series of dead end, badly paid, part time jobs I eventually landed a job in the media. Obviously I had all the right criteria for that sector thanks to spending the best part of a year frazzling kippers on a daily basis in the microwave of a local hotel (No, I have never got to grips with that particular piece of kitchen equipment); and the afternoons, looking for postcodes in a local bank.

Anyway, fast forward 30 years, and its just not the tasteless fashion of the 80's which has made a come back, no for our sins we have the Tories, recession, street riots, Buck's Fizz and … Dallas.

So am I better equipped for unemployment in west Wales this time around? A sense of humour gives one more resilience especially when faced by the various scenarios I have found myself in over the past year, the most memorable being interviewed by a transsexual opera singer who resembled the Welsh prop Adam Jones.

The agency were adamant that she had a glittering career ahead of her, which I was told could be verified on Wikipedia. The interview was rather bizarre to say the least. When I mentioned acoustics, she gave me a rather confused look and proceeded to tell me she was a descendent of the 19^thcentury opera diva, Adelina Patti; that Bette Davies was her god-mother, and, wait for it - Anthony Hopkins was her cousin. I know, I know, “How can she be related to all those people?” but its like that down here, we're all related to each other. That's totally credible, her hitting the top C certainly wasn't.

The other week I cycled for an hour to attend an interview, got there, adrenalin pumping, feeling good, then felt my energy and lifeblood sapping away from me as I entered the foyer. Yes it was another encounter with the vampires who suck the life out of enthusiasm, dynamism and initiative - the Welsh public sector. By the time I was halfway through the interview I felt I had been taken out by the baddies in an episode of Twilight. I was slowly, slowly, vanishing, wilting away. Losing the will to live.

I've been interviewed by a couple of private sector companies who were looking for experienced people to work for them and offered me the average wage of ... 1983. I politely suggested that they look to the Philippines if they required to expand their staff numbers.

Oh well back to the drawing board. A glimpse at the local paper raises my spirits ... umm" looking for an accompanist/conductor for a local choir"; "experienced lamb puller required"; numerous personal assistants to care for the elderly that have taken over rural Wales ... or what about resorting to blackmail? High income low outlay, now there's a thought?